A Year of Joy

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation." With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. And you will say in that day: "Give thanks to the LORD, call upon his name; make known his deeds among the nations, proclaim that his name is exalted. "Sing praises to the LORD, for he has done gloriously; let this be known in all the earth. Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel." (Is 12:2-6, RSV)

One of the more common reactions that I receive from Catholics when they see me in the habit and know that I am pursuing this vocation is rather gushing expressions of gratitude, typically thanking me for "being willing to make such a tremendous sacrifice," or something along those lines. I understand the sentiment, I really do, but I also think it can potentially distort the discernment of this vocation, and in an unintended way, distort the nature of this life.

Of course there are sacrifices involved in religious life and priesthood, but that is true of any vocation. There is nothing worthwhile in this life, no vocation to which we can be called, that does not involve sacrifice. Sacrifice is of the very essence of love. I don't imagine that ever in my life will I make greater sacrifices than my mother and father have already made for me and for my siblings; I don't know that I will ever make sacrifices as great as my sisters and brother do for their families now. Yes, my life involves sacrifice, and yes they are of a different nature, but by emphasizing the sacrifices that priests and religious make in order to fulfill their vocations the greatest reality of this vocation ends up being missed. That reality is simply this: My decision to follow this vocation, certainly rooted deeply in a sense of calling, at the same time was made primarily because this is the way of life where I believe lies my greatest joy. The present reality and future anticipation of this profound joy, I believe, does nothing less than confirm the very fact that this is where I am called.

The joyfulness of religious life is so often overlooked, so easily unrecognized, and so unfortunately kept secret. I think it is necessary here to distinguish between joy and happiness. It is true that there will be times in this life, as in every human life, where I am unhappy. No one escapes the walk on this side of heaven without deep encounters with misery and suffering. It is the inevitable lot of fallen humanity. But the sufferings and trials and distresses that are unavoidable and which lead to that experience of unhappiness, at least for a time, need not be contrary to a deep and abiding sense of joy, a joy which penetrates the depths of the human soul, the depths where we are essentially united to God in love. This joy is discovered, I believe, when we discover God's will for us and surrender to it without resistance.

The consequence of this, I suggest, gives us the key to discovering our own vocation. Discernment must always begin with a prayerful desire to know God's will, and to surrender to it. When this prayer is stitched into the very fabric of our soul, I believe the key then is envisioning that life which fills us with the deepest sense of joy and fulfillment - not happiness in any superficial sense, but a true, deep and abiding joy. For discernment to be authentic and mature I believe necessitates time dedicated to silent listening, to the silent gaze into the loving face of God. It is in this silence that the reality of our existence is revealed to us, the reality of God's love, and it is in this silence that somehow, mysteriously, things just begin to fall into place. It is in this silence that I am able to discover that I simply cannot envision myself anywhere else, doing anything else, in any other way of life. The silence reveals to me that this is truly who I am, and precisely so because it is where God calls me to be.

The reason I am writing all of this now is because as another year fades into the realm of memory and a new year crosses the threshold of anticipation, one area where I recognize that I need to improve is developing my own sense of gratitude and thanksgiving. Yes, there are struggles with this life, as with every life. But because God is faithful, kind, and loving, through all of these difficulties He ever fills my heart with joy, and has led me down a path where my joy may be complete. This is the same desire He holds for each of us. I pray that this year we may all come into deeper contact with that joy of God which can transform our lives into outpourings of love, thankfulness, and selfless giving, and that "with joy we will draw water from the wells of salvation."

Happy New Year, everyone!