The Feast Day Celebration

What a beautiful celebration yesterday for the Feast of Saint Augustine. First at 12:05 we had Mass in the big church here on campus, celebrated by Father Laird. A decent number of people showed up, maybe 75 or so, certainly larger than a typical Friday afternoon Mass. Then at 3:30 we gathered in the chapel at the monastery on campus and had a solemn Vespers celebration. It was so nice praying with about 100 or so Augustinians, most of whom were wearing the habit, praying as a community, in the words of Augustine, with one mind and heart intent upon our God. It was beautiful.

After Vespers we had a happy hour in the monastery, and it was really nice getting to talk to some of the Augustinians whom I already knew very well but with whom I had not spoken since I had been accepted, as well as some of the Augustinians to whom I had never previously been formally introduced. It's nice seeing how excited they get about new members of the Order. They are all so encouraging and so loving.

One of the guys living with us as a discerner was saying the other day, and this has been my experience as well, that he has never met someone who has been taught by Augustinians or encountered them in the parish or whatever, who hasn't just effused praise about them. People who know Augustinians almost every single time just fall in love with them. That says a lot, I believe, about the charism and spirituality of the Order as it has been handed down to us from Augustine, and it makes me very happy to be a part of it.

After happy hour we went into the dining hall and had a truly spectacular dinner, lobster tail and filet mignon and twice baked potatoes and asparagus and desserts. I sat at a table with Fr. John Farrell, one of the older men living in the monastery, and he just had me laughing the entire time. I'm really enjoying having the opportunity to spend some time with the older men of the Order, to listen to them and hear about their experiences.

So anyway, that was the Feast of Saint Augustine. A beautiful end to an excellent first week of classes.

The Feast of Saint Augustine

Today is the Solemnity of Our Holy Father Saint Augustine, spiritual father of the Order and model of all seeking truth and conversion. For all of his great works of theology and philosophy, what is probably most attractive about Augustine and that which all should seek to imitate is his constant searching, questioning, seeking after truth and after God, and his journey inward to the depths of his own heart so as to know himself truthfully.

That self-knowledge that Augustine teaches us as all-important, as it is self-knowledge that ultimately leads to the greatest revelations about God, is a lifelong quest of tearing away mask after mask, of tearing down the façade that we construct even for ourselves, and entering into the very depth of our being. It is a theology of self, a recognition that the superficial is not what defines us, but rather that there is some core of our being that is our true self, and the center of that core is where we find God Himself, as God is the very ground of our being. Much like looking at a work of art, just focusing on the superficial, on the technique used in painting a mountain, or counting the number of trees, isn't going to tell us anything of real import about the essence of the artist, but by looking more deeply at the painting and understanding that which lies at the heart of it will offer us perhaps a glimpse of the true artist, so it is with our own quest of self-knowledge. The better we know ourselves, the better we know that which is essential and fundamental about who we are, the more insightful glimpse we glean of the God Who created us.

This is equally true of our knowledge of our neighbor. If we focus only on the superficial in our neighbor, whether it be something like the way they comb their hair, how much we like the clothes they wear, how annoying it is when they chew with their mouths open, then we are not focusing on what really makes that person who they are. We are only gaining a superficial knowledge of the person. But if we seek to know them on a deeper level, not only will we form a greater bond of solidarity of truth in love with them, but we will also discover something greater about the God Who created them, as well.

For Augustine, the journey inward was a journey ultimately to discover the true source of his desire. He understood that desire is the operation of the heart, and that quite often our carnal longings are simply misguided physical manifestations of a deeper longing. This longing is really a longing for intimacy, a longing for love, a longing for understanding. From a better understanding of these deeper longings, these more primordial longings, Augustine came to realize two related means by which these longings are fulfilled: in community, and in God.

Community for Augustine was not simply a place where people lived together, but rather a unity of spirit and solidarity whereby men and women grew together, loved one another fraternally, cared for one another, and through the love learned in that community learned to love outside the community, as well. Furthermore, in the love and the searching that came forth from belonging to a community one also came to know and love God, and to experience God's own love for us.

Augustine recognized that without truth, one can never have love, and without love, one can never have truth. And so it is by loving that we come to better understand ourselves, our neighbor, and our God, and by coming to understand each do we better learn how to love. May the prayers of Saint Augustine continue to inspire all seekers of truth to a deeper love of themselves, of their neighbor, and of God.

 

Spiritual Nakedness

Well, classes have begun and the community is beginning to develop a rhythm. We have Morning Prayer each weekday at 7 a.m. in the chapel. Occasionally another guy who is discerning the Order joins us, and in the future we will probably have others, as well. Eventually what we are going to do is invite people to spend a weekend or a week with us, or some other overnight arrangement, to give those who are thinking about this life an opportunity to see how it is lived up close and personal. After Morning Prayer typically we all have breakfast together, and then Fr. Joe and Fr. Kevin and Sean leave for work, and Stephen and I do our own thing for a while. We finally picked up the new community car that Stephen and I share, and so we leave together at 9:30 and head to campus.

It's interesting to see how much community life is really just the same as living in a family – well, minus all the silly girls. But we develop our own unique dynamic, and just like a family, it requires work to ensure that we stay tight and close and loving. I think it is safe to say that there is not an Order in the world that values community more than the Augustinians, since community is really the lens through which Augustine saw the world. He wrote his rule for community living based heavily on the Acts of the Apostles and how the early Church lived together in solidarity, and so that is what we seek, also. Augustine realized, and thus so do we, that it is so often through others that we learn to love – to love our God, to love each other, and to love ourselves.

I have begun to finally formulate some good habits, and have even taken up running! Since our monastery is on a high school campus there is a track available to me at all times, so more or less my routine has been waking up at around 5:15, praying the Divine Office, going for a run on the track (eventually I'll switch to running through the beautiful surrounding neighborhoods, but right now I just don't have the stamina), coming home and eating breakfast, showering, and then Morning Prayer at 7. It's been so great finally including regular exercise in my life again, and already I'm feeling much better as a result.

One of the more profound consequences of this rhythm of prayer and community, and the times that my life allows now for great silence, has been the developing self-awareness. Self-awareness and self-knowledge have always been a strength of mine, but here it seems to reach to a greater depth. As Augustine says, God knows us better than we know ourselves, and so these moments of prayer and silence tend to shine a piercing light on all those areas of myself that I have long refused to behold, both the good and the bad. It is like standing spiritually naked before myself and my God, surrounded on all sides by the mirror of self-knowledge and having nowhere to hide. Sometimes it is a false humility that does not allow me to see the good. Sometimes it is fear and shame that refused to glance upon the bad. But the great beauty of engaging this encounter prayerfully is that this self-revelation leads to a deeper God-revelation, and in that discovery I realize that even those parts of my deeper self of which I am ashamed, God loves them, too. God indeed loves not just the good in me, but the whole me. This knowledge allows me then to embrace my own weakness and shortcomings and even to love them.

A further consequence of this is that by learning to love the weakness and the shortcomings in myself, I find myself better equipped to love others, to not judge them for their faults, or even to take the attitude of loving them despite their faults, but rather even learning to love their faults. Of course, it will take a lifetime of growth before that kind of love becomes normative in me, for my nature is what it is, but nonetheless it is an area of growth that I am just beginning to discover, and it is a joyous one.

As to the work that the community has to do to remain close, as like any family, we can very easily get caught up in our busy schedules and end up growing distant, which would not be good. One thing we have done to counteract that is have Wednesday nights be our community night, and so each night, after the others pray Evening Prayer with students on campus in the chapel (I have class each night at that time), we all come home, have dinner together and then spend the evening just doing something fun, maybe watch a movie or whatever. Also, Wednesday mornings, instead of just having Evening Prayer in the chapel, we also have Mass together, just the six of us, which is very nice. So we are finding ways to stay together, to stay close, and to embrace the life of community that Augustine recognized as so vital.

It really is a great group of guys. Sean and Dan (who is moving in this Friday but with whom I lived two years ago) are the two discerners, Stephen and I are the prenovices, and then Fr. Joe and Fr. Kevin are the fully professed friars. Last night sitting at the table at a very impromptu gathering, Fr. Kevin says, "Guys, Fr. Joe and I need to talk to you about something very serious." I know Fr. Kevin well enough to know that it would not be serious at all, and I was right. But what they did say is that we are a community, and so it is unnecessary for us to constantly refer to them as "Father." That will take some getting used to.

Other than that, school has been great. My classes are fantastic. My graduate theology course is taught by one of the world's most renowned scholars on the Gospel of Mark, and the man is just brilliant. My advanced philosophy seminar is seemingly tailor-made for me, as it is on Religion, Politics, and Philosophy, and taught by an erudite young woman who has studied all over the world. My computer science class is terribly boring right now, but it will get better. Latin is easy, and my fears that the Greek class would be too advanced for me have been assuaged. There are only two of us in the class, and we both seem to be at just the same level, and so it's kind of like getting private tutoring in Greek. Finally I have an Acting class with Fr. David Cregan, who directed me in Dead Man Walking, and it is wonderful.

Okay, time to bring this novel to an end. I have Latin homework to finish in the next 45 minutes.

First Day of Classes

Well, the friary still has no internet, so I have not been online for five days or so. It's been quite an active first week at the friary. Every day and night has been quite filled from beginning to end with something or another. Last Tuesday we went to a dinner for the Augustinian Volunteers, a group of college graduates who have decided to volunteer a year of their lives to volunteer at one of the Augustinian missions in the Bronx, Chicago, or San Diego, and another group who volunteered who have committed a second year and will work in an Augustinian mission in either Peru or South Africa. It is so inspiring seeing so many people who have been transformed by their faith and by their encounters with the Augustinians and have decided to live the Augustinian way of life in community for a year or two years and dedicate that time to serving the needy and the underprivileged. To see the Gospel in action is always a blessed thing.

One of the things about this monastery is that it needs a real good cleaning. So we got going on that on Friday. I spent a good five hours in the kitchen (it's a huge industrial kitchen – which I'm very excited to get to use but there hasn't been time for cooking yet) and went through a box of steel wool pads just scrubbing all the stainless steel, the shelves and the sinks and the ovens and stove, and then mopping the floor twice. What a difference. Stephen, our other prenovice, and Sean, a discerner who arrived on Friday, spent that time cleaning some of the other areas of the house, the window sills in the stairways and the furniture in the dining area and the like. There is still a lot to do before this truly becomes comfortably home, but it's coming along quite nicely. All week, and finally finishing up last night, we have also been finishing moving things out of the former formation house, and that has been quite a project in and of itself.

On Saturday we took a little tour of two of the Augustinian parishes in Philadelphia, first at St. Rita's, the site of the National Shrine of St. Rita, and while I've been there several times this was the first time I had seen the upper church. It was just spectacular, a truly glorious church, with a beautiful altar and sanctuary, with a sublime looking tabernacle and crucifix behind it. All I kept thinking while in Mass was how perfect that Church would be for celebrating Mass in the Extraordinary Form. Also, the stain glass windows in the Church are magnificent, telling the story of St. Rita's life. After the noon Mass we went down to the shrine, where they also have perpetual adoration in the smaller chapel. There are also several other gorgeous statues of various Augustinian saints, St. Nicholas of Tolentine, St. Augustine, St. Monica, St. Thomas of Villanova, and a few others. At the Mass there was a group of Franciscans of the Holy Land visiting on a tour of various national shrines, and one of them concelebrated Mass. After Mass we went over to the friary and had lunch with the Augustinians stationed there, and Fr. Joe Genito then gave us a bit of a personal tour of the shrine. It was quite nice.

After St. Rita we drove to Old St. Augustine's on 4^th and Vine (for those of you who have seen the movie The Sixth Sense, the scene where the boy and Bruce Willis meet in the church, that meeting takes place in St. Augustine's). St. Augustine's is equally magnificent, with a very similar altar and sanctuary area, flanked on either side by two beautiful statues, one of St. Augustine and another of St. Monica. We arrived at the church a little early and so we did a little walk around that part of Old City, and visited the Liberty Bell. Stephen, our other prenovice, is from Wichita, KS and so had never visited much of the city before, so it's nice being able to show him around. Fr. Joe Farrell, our prenovice director and the prior of my community, had Mass at 5:15, so we got back in time for that, and then visited with Fr. Jim McBurney, the pastor of the parish and my original vocations director, briefly at the house, and then we went out to dinner.

Yesterday I decided that it was finally time to begin running again, and so I took advantage of the fact that we have a high school track right at the monastery, and so I jogged a mile or so – my first time running in about two years. On the weekends we do not pray as a community, so I prayed the Office of the Readings and Morning Prayer together around 5:30 a.m., then did some more work in the kitchen, ate breakfast, studied some Greek, and then finally went for the jog. At 12:30 we went back to the old formation house and finished packing up some things. After we were finished I walked to campus (the old formation house is adjacent to campus, whereas the new one is a good 25 minute drive away) and met with two great friends who graduated last year. That was really nice. At 4:30 they drove me to St. Thomas of Villanova Chapel in Rosemont (it is the chapel associated with the church on my campus, which also serves as a parish church), where we had the commissioning Mass of the Augustinian Volunteers and then a dinner afterwards. It was beautiful, and one of the volunteers, Natalie, is a great friend and actually the very first friend I ever made at Villanova, so it was really great being able to see her off. Finally we got back to the friary around 9:30, and I was soon off to bed.

And now here I am, sitting in the library waiting for my first class to begin. I have some reflections on my experience of religious life in general that I will share in due time, but currently I still do not have internet at the friary, so my posting will be sporadic. Thank you all for your continued prayers. And my prayers go out to all the religious orders beginning their postulencies right now. In a special way I ask everyone to pray for the Franciscans. Brother Charles is a blogger friend of mine (his blog is wonderful and you should all add it to your reader), and he has written a bit about their postulency over at the blog, and they are an excellent order and I do hope you will all keep them in prayer.

For now though I must be off to class. I hope and pray everyone is well, and eventually I will settle into a more regular routine that will include blogging. Until next time, be well and God bless.

Religious Life and Self-Discovery

One of the more interesting aspects of these first four days of religious life has been a magnified sense of self-awareness and self-consciousness. It is as if any mask that I have worn to hide my true self from my conscious self has been torn off, and now I stand naked before the mirror of my mind, forced to look upon my true self, and it has not been a pretty sight. For instance, while I've always been aware of what a talker I am, not until now has it become painfully obvious how incapable I am of silence when in the presence of others. Stephen had a kind way of putting it last night at dinner, when he referred to me as "energetic," but what he was really indicating was the fact that when in the presence of others I simply cannot seem to shut up.

I've deflected this self-awareness at times by making jokes about it, but my self-deprecating humor actually reveals yet another reality of my being that I previously tried to ignore, which is that I am constantly longing for acceptance. I joke about my loquaciousness hoping that someone will tell me that it's okay, even while at the same time I am just wishing that I could be silent.

It's a funny little paradox with me because the truth is that I so long for silence, so much so that I intentionally arise at least an hour and a half before anyone else, or at least before anyone comes downstairs, so that I can spend that time in silent prayer, in reading, going for a walk. I love and long for my solitude, and my talkativeness is not so much an indication that I desire to be around others, but rather simply that when I am around others I cannot seem to shut up.

Through all of this I am beginning to understand more deeply what St. Teresa of Avila means when she says that humility is in reality nothing more than self-awareness. It is only in this deepening sense of self-awareness that I am beginning to finally learn that nothing good can be accomplished without God. As Augustine says, God indeed knows me better than I know myself, and as I become more and more aware of my own weakness, I become more and more aware of the need for Christ, and through my weakness, as St. Paul writes, the power of Christ shines through. There is no weakness of mine that cannot be transfigured through Christ, and the longings that underlie all of my insecurity can indeed be fulfilled only in Christ.

As always, I turn my heart towards the Blessed Virgin Mary, whose Immaculate Heart draws me into her maternal love, and uniting me with her, she will truly and perfectly unite me to her Son. There are many layers of not-God to peel away before I may reach the Center of my being, the indwelling of God, and it is through the Virgin Mary that I am assured of the most direct route to this center. May I imitate her always in having a heart that is always intent on the will of God and directed towards His merciful love.

Hello from the Friary

I currently don't have internet access at the friary, but hopefully it will be up and running tomorrow sometime. But I'm in the library at Villanova right now and thought I would send out a hello and recount to you my first few days of living religious life.

Mom and dad brought me to Bellesini Friary in Drexel Hill Sunday night, and we arrived sometime before 7:00 p.m. The friary where we are living is the former faculty residence for the Augustinians who taught at Msgr. Bonner High School. There will eventually be eight of us living there, in a friary with 50 rooms. It's a huge building, obviously far bigger than we need, but temporarily it is the only place available to us, until the permanent residence of the Pre-novitiate House of Formation is completed. We have purchased an old convent in Ardmore, PA, and currently renovations are underway, but I have no idea when that will be ready for us. I would say January at the earliest, though it's possible it will not be ready until I have moved on to the novitiate in Racine.

So Sunday night mostly I just unpacked and began setting up my room. Because it is the old faculty residence and not a house designed for pre-novices, our rooms are quite spacious. I have a decent sized bedroom with a dresser, a closet, a comfy chair and a night stand, and then connected to that bedroom is my own personal sitting room, with a sink, a desk, and another closet. Both rooms have bookcases attached to the walls, which I subsequently filled to the max :)

Fr. Joe Farrell, one of the fully professed friars picked up one of our other pre-novices, Stephen, at the airport Sunday night, and they got home just a bit before 10. Stephen is very nice. He is from Wichita, KS and went to school at the University of Tulsa in Oklahoma (we have a high school out there where he met the Augustinians). After he got there we pretty much just sat around the common room and got to know each other, and then one of the other Augustinians who is still moving out, who taught at Bonner, joined us for a while.

One of the things I immediately have grown to love about living in a religious community is the fact that I have a chapel right in my residence, in this case a very large and beautiful chapel. It was so nice on Sunday night after getting all ready for bed just walking down the stairs and entering the chapel, praying the Rosary in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and then going upstairs straight to bed. It was a beautiful and peaceful end to a very exciting first day.

I got up early the next morning, around 5:30 or so. I was the only one up so I made coffee and prayed the Divine Office. I then went into the chapel and prayed the Rosary and just sat there a while in blessed silence. Soon thereafter the others awoke and we chatted a while, and then we had community morning prayer in the chapel.

After breakfast we had a lot of work to do. First we drove to provincial office so that Stephen and I could give them copies of our driver's license so that we can be put on the Order's insurance plan, as Stephen and I will share a community car (a third pre-novice will be joining us in January who will share the car with us, as well. There are two other guys who will be moving in this week as continuing discerners, but not pre-novices, and they will bring their own cars). After the provincial's office we went to the old location of the House of Formation, which is directly adjacent to Villanova's campus, and Stephen and I packed some boxes while Fr. Joe went into the office where he works at Villanova. Stephen and I finished by around 10:45 or so, and then walked over to Villanova to the chapel there. We prayed the Rosary together and then there was Mass at 12:05. The Augustinian who presided at Mass announced Stephen and I to the congregation, which was very nice. A woman who teaches at Villanova whom I have known for a few years but did not know I had been accepted came up after and gave me a big hug, and she had tears in her eyes. I think that has been one of the most profound and touching discoveries of this entire event, seeing how much it means to other Catholics that men are answering the call to the priesthood, and that men and women alike are still answering the call to religious life. So many have come up to me and told me that when they hear of my decision they know that their prayers have been answered. A vocation is truly a community event, and that is as it should be, it seems to me.

After Mass we had lunch and then went to do more work at the old friary, then went back to the chapel at 5:00 to pray evening prayer. Finally we went to Rosemont to help with a dinner that was being served for the Augustinian volunteers, a group of just graduated men and women who will devote the next year working at one of the Augustinian missions. We finally got back home to the friary sometime after 8:00. It was a long first full day and we were very tired. I got a snack and watched tv for half an hour, then got ready for bed, and went back down into our chapel to again pray the Rosary before bed. I got up again at 5:30 today, and it started all over again. And so now I am in the library, taking a break from studying Greek, and so it goes.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, your well wishes, your cards and all your support. This is a most exciting transition, though certainly not without challenges. Hope everyone is well.

Consecration to Mary – Union with Christ

Today was my final day of preparation for consecration to the Blessed Virgin Mary via the method described by St. Louis de Montfort. Today is two years to the day after making my initial consecration. Two years ago tonight I made my confession to Fr. Jack, who then blessed me with the Anointing of the Sick. I then participated in the Vigil Mass for the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I spent most of that Mass in tears, tears which flowed even harder as I approached that blessed shrine to Our Lady and consecrated myself to her, preparing myself spiritually for the difficult road ahead. The following morning, on the Feast of the Assumption, the date I was originally planning to make my consecration before receiving my diagnosis and subsequent surgery schedule, I was operated on by Dr. Diascoro (which means heart of God) Villenueva, who successfully removed my entire thyroid, which was filled with cancer, and also a lymph node, which eventually indicated that they too were maligned with cancer, as well.

This time around my consecration, or rather my renewal of this consecration, takes on an entirely different character. Instead of preparing for my consecration with the weight of cancer hanging over my neck, this time I prepared in the joyous aftermath of my acceptance into the Augustinians. Instead of consecrating myself the day before serious surgery as the beginning of my treatment for cancer, this time I am renewing my consecration the day before officially beginning my life as a religious. This has all shed such a profound light on the spiritual life for me, so that I have seen the maternal love of our Blessed Lady, the comfort and consolation she brings, the motherly protection she offers, and the good counsel she provides in teaching me to love her divine Son with all of my being, and all of this has been shown to me in the deepest depths of spiritual despair and uncertainty and the most magnificent heights of spiritual bliss. Through it all, it is she, our sublime Mother, who has kept me constantly turned towards her Son, towards that perfect union with Christ Jesus, the sole end of this blessed devotion to Mary.

Tomorrow I will once again renew in a formal way what I hope to live in my heart every moment of every day, which is a filial love and devotion to the Mother of my God and through Him, my Mother, as well. I beseech thee, Blessed Lady, to pray for me, to intercede so powerfully with your Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, that through His grace I may grow in holiness, that all that is wretched in me may be transformed in Him, that all that is sullied in me may be made pure in Him, that any apathy in my heart may be changed into the zealous love of His Sacred Heart, and that by His blessing I may become a humble, generous religious, and that I may love Him more.

Mater Boni Consilii, ora pro nobis.

RIP Les Paul – The Music Industry Owes You Immensely

From the Associated Press:

NEW YORK — Les Paul, the guitar virtuoso and inventor who revolutionized music and created rock 'n' roll as surely as Elvis Presley and the Beatles by developing the solid-body electric guitar and multitrack recording, died Thursday at age 94.

Known for his lightning-fast riffs, Paul performed with some of early pop's biggest names and produced a slew of hits, many with wife Mary Ford. But it was his inventive streak that made him universally revered by guitar gods as their original ancestor and earned his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as one of the most important forces in popular music.

Paul, who died in White Plains, N.Y., of complications from pneumonia, was a tireless tinkerer, whose quest for a particular sound led him to create the first solid-body electric guitar, a departure from the hollow-body guitars of the time. His invention paved the way for modern rock 'n' roll and became the standard instrument for legends like Pete Townshend and Jimmy Page.

He also developed technology that would become hallmarks of rock and pop recordings, from multitrack recording that allowed for layers and layers of "overdubs" to guitar reverb and other sound effects.

"He was truly the cornerstone of popular music," said Henry Juskiewicz, chairman and CEO of Gibson Guitar, which mass produced Paul's original invention. "He was a futurist, and unlike some futurists who write about it and predict things, he was a guy who actually did things."

Paul remained an active performer until his last months: He put out his very first rock album just four years ago, and up until recently played every week at a New York jazz club.

The news of his death prompted an outpouring of tributes from the music world.

"Les lived a very long life and he got to a lot of his goals, so I'm happy for him in that respect. ... At least he realized that he was a legend in his own time while he was alive," said Richie Sambora, Bon Jovi's guitarist and a friend of Paul's, on Thursday. "He was revolutionary in the music business."

Continue reading here

Archbishop Chaput on Healthcare Reform

Archbishop Chaput of Denver has written an excellent column on healthcare reform, on the sort of reform that we as Christians should be demanding. It's not very long and certainly worth reading:

Read the column here

Shared via AddThis

Preparing for the move

So I move into the new community on Sunday. I commented to my folks earlier that this is really the first time, other than just leaving for school, that I have moved out on good terms. That feels good. I suppose it is because of how excited I am that this is clearly the earliest I have ever packed for a move, whether it be a permanent move out like this or just leaving for school. I've got the vast majority of my packing done. Man, I have A LOT of books! I mean, it makes me happy, but it's a bit overwhelming in terms of packing. Ah well.

Tomorrow mom and I are going shopping for some clothes and some gluten-free food to stock up in the new community. The community will pay for food from here on out, but I want to be stocked up on gluten free foods from the beginning just to be safe. Friday I have to go up to Villanova to be interviewed for Dead Man Walking, some sort of promotional video that my director has been asked by Sister Helen to work on to promote the national DMW project. My hope is that I will have all my packing done by Friday night so that Saturday, the Feast of the Assumption and the date I renew my consecration to Mary, I can spend a significant amount of time in prayer, preparing myself spiritually, and then spend Saturday evening with my family.

On a down note, I've been terribly sick these past two days, some sort of nasty chest cold. So long as it's gone by Sunday then I'm fine with it. But my chest feels awful. It even hurts in my chest when I swallow. Ah well.

I deleted my livejournal account today. I had been running a parallel blog, but it's just too time consuming and I need to focus myself this year. I'm taking 18 credits plus the demands of religious life, and livejournal is far more time consuming than blogger, so I will keep this one (obviously), but I just felt that I needed to get rid of livejournal. I've also scaled down my Google Reader subscriptions.

Anyway, it's late now, and so I will get some sleep. So strange, only four days before religious life officially begins. Lord have mercy.

The Nascent Church Series

I just wanted to let everyone know that the nascent Church series on which I am working is going to be on hold for a few more days. Currently all my books are in boxes until at least Sunday, so I don't have the opportunity to do research aside from online (which is still a lot, but much of the research I'm doing is not available online so for the sake of being comprehensive I'd rather wait). Sorry for the delay.

International Conference at Villanova University on St. Augustine

If any theology buffs happens to be in the Philadelphia area September 17-19, The Augustinian Institute is sponsoring the third international conference on St. Augustine and his thought. Once again some of the best Augustinian scholars in the world will be present, presenting papers that will ultimately be published in the Journal of Augustinian Studies. Here is the schedule for those who will be around and are interested. If you are going and would like to meet up, e-mail me at augustinianheart@gmail.com.

Reconsiderations

The Augustinian Institute sponsors an international conference on St. Augustine and his thought under the title Reconsiderations. The first was held in 2003 and the second in 2006. On both occasions leading scholars from around the world were invited to Villanova and their papers were published in the Journal of Augustinian Studies. Reconsiderations Conference III (2009) A Conference on the thought and legacy of Augustine of Hippo CELEBRATING 50 YEARS OF THE SAINT AUGUSTINE LECTURE SERIES September 17-19, 2009 A conference on Augustine of Hippo and the development of his thought.     Thursday September 17th 2009 7:00 pm  Villanova Room, Connelly Center "Saint Augustine Lecture" Isabelle Bochet, S.F.X., Institut Catholique Institut d'Études Augustiniennes, Paris "Scripture in Augustine's Controversy with Porphyry" Friday, September 18, 2009 Villanova Conference Center Morning Session Augustine and Scripture MODERATOR:  Jonathan Yates, Villanova University 9:00am Michael Cameron, University of Portland "'She Arranges Everything Pleasingly' (Wisdon 8:1): The Rhetorical Base of Augustine's Hermeneutic" 9:40am Karla Pollman,St Andrews University, Scotland "More questions raised than answered? Fundamental issues in Augustine's Literal Commentary on Genesis." Break 10:35am John Cavadini, Notre Dame University "The Eucharistic Hermeneutics of Augustine's Confessions." 11:15am Michael McCarthy, S.J., Santa Clara University "The Psalms of Ascent in Augustine's Enarrationes in psalmos" 11:50am Discussion 12:30pm Lunch Afternoon Session Augustine the Theologian MODERATOR: Martin Laird, O.S.A., Villanova University 1:45pm Brian Daley, S.J., Notre Dame University "The Law, the Whole Christ, and the Spirit of Love: Grace as a Trinitarian Gift in Augustine's Theology"? 2:25pm Robert Dodaro, O.S.A., Augustinianum, Rome "Augustine on the Role of Christ and of the Holy Spirit in the Sanctification of Believers" Break 3:20pm Lewis Ayres, Durham University "The Spirit as the Soul of the Body of Christ: the key to the relationship between Son and Spirit in Augustine's Theology?" 4:00pm Mathijs Lamberigts, Katholieke Universiteit Leuven "Augustine's use of Tradition in the Controversy with Julian of Aeclanum" 4:40pm Discussion Saturday, September 19, 2009 Villanova Conference Center Morning Session "Augustine and Philosophy MODERATOR: Jesse Couenhoven, Villanova University  9:00am Luigi Alici, Università di Macerata, Italy "Violence of the idolatries and pacific cohabitation.  Actuality of the De civitate Dei" 9:40am Gerd Van Riel, Katholieke Universiteit Leuven "Augustine on Prudence" Break 10:35am Giovanni Catapano, Università di Padova, Italy "Augustine, Julian, and Dialectic:  A Reconsideration of J. Pẻpin's Lecture". 11:15am Frederick Van Fleteren, LaSalle University "Augustine and Philosophy:  Intellectus fidei." 11:50am Discussion 12:30pm Lunch Afternoon Session Augustine Engaging the World MODERATOR:  James Wetzel, Villanova University   1:45pm John Bowlin, Princeton Theological Seminary  "Augustine Counting Virtues" 2:25pm Kathleen Roberts Skerrett, Grinnell College "Sovereignty and sadness:  Ambiguities of power and love" Break 3:20pm Eric Gregory, Princeton University "Augustinians and The New Liberalism" 4:00pm Charles Mathewes, University of Virginia "A Worldly Augustinianism" 4:40pm Discussion 5:30pm Conclusion

New Nuns and Priests Opting for Tradition

An interesting article in today's New York Times which sheds some light on the anecdotal data that we all have heard, which is that vocations in the American Church are growing in traditional orders, especially orders that wear the habit, and that the orders that changed most radically after Vatican II are now an aging and dying breed. The study was conducted for the National Religious Vocations Conference. From the article:

A new study of Roman Catholic nuns and priests in the United States shows that an aging, predominantly white generation is being succeeded by a smaller group of more racially and ethnically diverse recruits who are attracted to the religious orders that practice traditional prayer rituals and wear habits.

The study found that the graying of American nuns and priests was even more pronounced than many Catholics had realized. Ninety-one percent of nuns and 75 percent of priests are 60 or older, and most of the rest are at least 50.

They are the generation defined by the Second Vatican Council, of the 1960s, which modernized the church and many of its religious orders. Many nuns gave up their habits, moved out of convents, earned higher educational degrees and went to work in the professions and in community service. The study confirms what has long been suspected: that these more modern religious orders are attracting the fewest new members.

Continue reading here

Finally a good Extreme video

One of the girls we went to the concert with just sent me a video from the night. This is really good video quality, and it really shows you how amazing Nuno is. The only partial downside is that their voices don't sound great in this video, but that's okay. This is Flight of the Bumblebee/Get the Funk Out/Wanna Be Starting Something. At the very end of the video you can see me. I'm in the green shirt with the cup in my teeth, which was because I was looking down at my phone working on my camera:





And then here is part 2 of Wanna Be Starting Something. You get a quick shot of me with my hands in the air here, and then the guy whose and Nuno slaps at the end is my best friend. When the drummer throws the drum stick, it actually hit him right in the head:

St. Augustine’s Sermon on the Feast of St. Lawrence

From today's Office of the Readings, an excerpt of St. Augustine's sermon preached on the Feast of St. Lawrence. One of my favorite of Augustine's sermons:

The Roman Church commends this day to us as the blessed Lawrence's day of triumph, on which he trod down the world as it roared and raged against him; spurned it as it coaxed and wheedled him; and in each case, conquered the devil as he persecuted him. For in that Church, you see, as you have regularly been told, he performed the office of deacon; it was there that he administered the sacred chalice of Christ's blood; there that he shed his own blood for the name of Christ. The blessed apostle John clearly explained the mystery of the Lord's Supper when he said Just as Christ laid down his life for us, so we too ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. St Lawrence understood this, my brethren, and he did it; and he undoubtedly prepared things similar to what he received at that table. He loved Christ in his life, he imitated him in his death.

 And we too, brethren, if we truly love him, let us imitate him. After all, we shall not be able to give a better proof of love than by imitating his example; for Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example, so that we might follow in his footsteps. In this sentence the apostle Peter appears to have seen that Christ suffered only for those who follow in his footsteps, and that Christ's passion profits none but those who follow in his footsteps. The holy martyrs followed him, to the shedding of their blood, to the similarity of their sufferings. The martyrs followed, but they were not the only ones. It is not the case, I mean to say, that after they crossed, the bridge was cut; or that after they had drunk, the fountain dried up.

 The garden of the Lord, brethren, includes – yes, it truly includes – includes not only the roses of martyrs but also the lilies of virgins, and the ivy of married people, and the violets of widows. There is absolutely no kind of human beings, my dearly beloved, who need to despair of their vocation; Christ suffered for all. It was very truly written about him: who wishes all men to be saved, and to come to the acknowledgement of the truth.

 So let us understand how Christians ought to follow Christ, short of the shedding of blood, short of the danger of suffering death. The Apostle says, speaking of the Lord Christ, Who, though he was in the form of God, did not think it robbery to be equal to God. What incomparable greatness! But he emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, and being made in the likeness of men, and found in condition as a man. What unequalled humility!

 Christ humbled himself: you have something, Christian, to latch on to. Christ became obedient. Why do you behave proudly? After running the course of these humiliations and laying death low, Christ ascended into heaven: let us follow him there. Let us listen to the Apostle telling us, If you have risen with Christ, savor the things that are above us, seated at God's right hand.

Preparing for my final year

It's very strange for me to think that I'm actually graduating college this year. I was getting worried for a while because I took reduced course loads when I was dealing with cancer. I'm a philosophy and theology double major, classics minor, and I figured if worse came to worse I could drop the theology major (I already have the minor covered) since I'll be studying it in seminary. Villanova has a huge core curriculum, which is good because it gives us a very balanced education aside from simply our major(s) and minor(s). But anyway, I did the math, and I'll need to take 18 credits this semester and next, and then three summer courses, and I'll have all the classes I need and won't have to drop the theology major.

What really amazes me is that I only have two more philosophy classes left. That seems weird to me, I guess because I'm not as comfortable with my philosophy knowledge than my theology knowledge. At Villanova we have two tracts for philosophy majors – one is a focused tract where one specializes in a certain area and includes two advanced seminars, and one is a thesis tract where no specialty is required, and in the final year one advanced seminar is taken first semester and then second semester is the thesis (I've chosen the thesis tract). My advanced seminar this semester is on Religion, Politics and Philosophy. I'm really excited for it. I have to say that there is not a single philosophy course that I've taken that I haven't absolutely loved, and with one exception my professors have been absolutely amazing – and even the course where the professor was, shall we say, less than great (this was in my Philosophy of Women course), the class was still awesome and the readings were great, so I still learned a lot.

Following is my reading list for this semester's seminar. I've read the Spinoza and Hobbes texts, but none of the others. Have any of you read these and have any thoughts to offer?

Spinoza,Theological-Political Treatise, Cambridge, 2007 (ISBN: 0521530970)
Hobbes, Leviathan: Revised student edition, Cambridge, 1996 (ISBN: 0521567971)
Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration, Hackett, 1983 (ISBN: 091514560X)
Schmitt, Political Theology, Chicago, 2006 (ISBN: 0226738892)
Lilla, The Stillborn God: Religion, Politics, and the Modern West, Vintage, 2008 (ISBN: 1400079136)

Asad, Formations of the Secular: Christianity, Islam, Modernity, Stanford, 2003 (ISBN: 0804747687)
Taylor, A Secular Age, Harvard Belknap, 2007 (ISBN: 0674026764)
Scott, Politics of the Veil, Princeton, 2007 (ISBN: 0691125430)
Connolly, Why I Am Not A Secularist, Minnesota, 2000 (ISBN: 0816633320)

Safeguarding the Gift

In continuation with the present series on the early Church and the parallel postings from the catechesis on the origins of the Church given by Pope Benedict XVI, following is the audience from April 5, 2006:

 

BENEDICT XVI

GENERAL AUDIENCE

Wednesday, 5 April 2006

'Safeguarding the gift'

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

In the new series of Catecheses that began a few weeks ago, we are considering the origins of the Church so as to understand Jesus' original plan and thereby grasp the essential of the Church that lives on through the changing times. Thus, we also understand the reason for our being in the Church and how we must strive to live it at the dawn of a new Christian millennium.

In thinking about the newborn Church, we can discover two aspects:  a first aspect is strongly highlighted by St Irenaeus of Lyons, a martyr and great theologian of the end of the second century, the first to have given us a theology that was to a certain extent systematic. St Irenaeus wrote:  "Wherever the Church is, God's Spirit is too; and wherever God's Spirit is, there is the Church and every grace; for the Spirit is truth" (Adversus Haereses, III, 24, 1:  PG 7, 966).

Thus, a deep bond exists between the Holy Spirit and the Church. The Holy Spirit builds the Church and gives her the truth; he pours out love, as St Paul says, into the hearts of believers (cf. Rom 5: 5).

Then there is a second aspect. This deep bond with the Spirit does not eradicate our humanity, with all of its weaknesses. So it is that from the start the community of the disciples has known not only the joy of the Holy Spirit, the grace of truth and love, but also trials that are constituted above all by disagreements about the truths of faith, with the consequent wounds to communion. 

Just as the fellowship of love has existed since the outset and will continue to the end (cf. I Jn 1: 1ff.), so also, from the start, division unfortunately arose. We should not be surprised that it still exists today. "They went out from us, but they were not of us", John says in his First Letter, "for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us; but they went out, that it might be plain that they are not of us" (I Jn 2: 19).

Thus, in the events of the world but also in the weaknesses of the Church, there is always a risk of losing faith, hence, also love and brotherhood. Consequently, it is a specific duty of those who believe in the Church of love and want to live in her to recognize this danger too and accept that communion is no longer possible with those who have drifted away from the doctrine of salvation (cf. II Jn 9: 11).

That the newborn Church was well aware of the possible tensions in the experience of communion is clearly shown by John's First Letter:  no voice is more forcefully raised in the New Testament to highlight the reality and duty of fraternal love among Christians; but the same voice is addressed with drastic severity to adversaries of the Church who used to be members of the community but now no longer belong to it.

The Church of love is also the Church of truth, understood primarily as fidelity to the Gospel entrusted by the Lord Jesus to his followers. It was being made children of the same Father by the Spirit of truth that gave rise to Christian brotherhood:  "For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God" (Rom 8: 14).

However, if the family of God's children is to live in unity and peace, it needs someone to keep it in the truth and guide it with wise and authoritative discernment:  this is what the ministry of the Apostles is required to do.

And here we come to an important point. The Church is wholly of the Spirit but has a structure, the apostolic succession, which is responsible for guaranteeing that the Church endures in the truth given by Christ, from whom the capacity to love also comes.

The first brief description in the Acts sums up very effectively the convergence of these values in the life of the newborn Church:  "And they devoted themselves to the Apostles' teaching and fellowship (koinonia), to the breaking of bread and the prayers" (Acts 2: 42). Communion is born from faith inspired by apostolic preaching, it is nourished by the Breaking of Bread and prayer, and is expressed in brotherly love and service.

We have before us the description of fellowship in the newborn Church with the riches of its internal dynamism and visible expressions:  the gift of communion is safeguarded and promoted in particular by the apostolic ministry, which in turn is a gift for the entire community. 

The Apostles and their successors are therefore the custodians and authoritative witnesses of the deposit of truth consigned to the Church, and are likewise the ministers of charity. These are two aspects that go together.

They must always be mindful of the inseparable nature of this twofold service which in fact is only one:  truth and love, revealed and given by the Lord Jesus. In this regard, their service is first and foremost a service of love:  and the charity they live and foster is inseparable from the truth they preserve and pass on.

Truth and love are the two faces of the same gift that comes from God and, thanks to the apostolic ministry, is safeguarded in the Church and handed down to us, to our present time!

And the love of the Trinitarian God also reaches us through the service of the Apostles and their successors, to communicate to us the truth that sets us free (cf. Jn 8: 32)!

All this, which we see in the newborn Church, impels us to pray for the Successors of the Apostles, for all the Bishops and for the Successors of Peter, so that together they may truly be at the same time custodians of truth and love; so that, in this regard, they may truly be apostles of Christ and that his light, the light of truth and love, may never be extinguished in the Church or in the world.

* * *

Extreme concert video - dreadful quality, awesome concert

Well, all the videos I took with my camera phone just turned out awful. Both video and audio are bad. But I'll share five with you anyway just to show you how close I was, and to at least give you a glimpse of how amazing a guitar player Nuno is:






And again. The guy who yells to Nuno in this video is standing right next to me. He was one of the people we got real friendly with. This is funny:




A little more Nuno awesomeness:





A brief clip of Gary Cherone just being the freaking awesome front man he is. Which would show up much better with good sound and video quality, but alas:





Finally, the tail end of a Michael Jackson tribute they did. Again, awful quality:

Extreme and Ratt in Concert

Oh man, I went to the greatest concert last night. Saw Extreme and Ratt in Sayresville, New Jersey. I was really there to see Extreme, and they did not disappoint. Quite possibly one of the greatest shows I've ever seen. The venue was very small, intimate. It was more or less just a really large bar. My buddy and I paid extra for VIP seating. It was all general admission, but what they do if you pay the extra is basically just let you in about twenty minutes before the rest of the people get in. So they opened the doors and my friend and I walked up and got right to the very front, against the rail, right where Nuno, the lead guitar player, would be standing. It was unbelievable. Nuno and Gary, the lead singer, were interacting with us all night. In a while I'll put up some videos I took with my phone so you can see how close we were. It was amazing.

It's unfortunate that most people know Extreme because of two songs, More than Words and Hole Hearted. Don't get me wrong, they're great songs, but they give you no idea what kind of band Extreme is. Extreme is a straight up rock and roll band, and they are unbelievable. Nuno is probably one of the best lead guitarists alive, and Gary not only has a fantastic voice, but his showmanship is right up there with Mick Jagger, Roger Daltry, and you can obviously see some heavy Queen influence in him as he moves a lot like Freddie Mercury. Anyway, the show was just amazing.

On top of the great show, we met some really awesome people there. There was a grandmom standing next to us who knew all their songs and all the Ratt songs. There were these two guys next to us who were awesome and had been to one of the shows my buddy went to, an Extreme/King's X show, and is going to send him a video of it. Then we met these two super cool girls who were standing with us, and they probably had the best moment of the night. They kept holding up a sign for Gary wishing him a happy belated birthday, and then finally Nuno totally shot her down and said something like, "Yeah, we saw the sign. I think you can put it down now. But thanks." It was sad but hilarious.

Anyway, that was my night last night. We didn't stay for the whole Ratt set. They sounded good, but man, they couldn't hold a candle to Extreme. Great night!!!

Transfiguration and Suffering

Today is the Feast of the Transfiguration of our Lord. It is also the two year anniversary of my diagnosis of cancer. I've said this before, but it was so helpful for me in terms of perspective that every major event in my battle was related to a major liturgical feast. It was quite fitting that as the Lord prepared me for an outpouring of grace that would come to me through suffering, this journey would begin on a feast that prefigured not only the Lord's resurrected glory, but indeed the glory that awaits us all. Just as Christ was made perfect through suffering (cf. Heb 2:10), so with us does God use the existence of our suffering as an opportunity for transfiguration and perfection. We who are baptized into Christ are baptized into his passion and his death, so that just as he was glorified by taking on our suffering, so too are we prepared for glory by uniting ourselves to him.

So it is again, two years later, that life has forced me to contemplate the meaning of suffering. Andy's viewing is tonight, and while perhaps his perfection through suffering continues now, or perhaps it is completed, certainly his mother and brother are being given an opportunity for greater perfection. His mother indeed is a woman of profound faith. Just like another Mary we love and honor, this Mary too has lost a husband and a son, and just like that Mary, she endures it in perfect faith, a faith that does not understand but trusts nonetheless. Whether she consciously is aware of this or not, it is her faith in Christ amidst the great suffering of her life that demonstrates so perfectly the very heart of the Christian reality, which is that through the suffering of Christ human suffering is redeemed. Christ did not remove the existence of suffering, but instead redeemed it into a transfigurative power. It is especially through suffering that the human soul learns the very depths of love. Above all else suffering evokes in humanity an outpouring of compassion – com-passion, to suffer with – and this outpouring of compassion and this response of love perfects the human soul, expands the soul's capacity for love, the capacity to give and to receive love, so that when this earthly exile is complete, we have an even greater capacity to receive the divine love which awaits us in fullness.

Suffering without hope leads to despair and to suicide. Conversely, the passion, death, resurrection and ascension of Christ steers the compass of suffering in the direction of hope, so that suffering need not lead to despair, but in fact can lead to transfiguration, to glory. On this day nearly 2,000 years ago Christ gave three of his apostles a glimpse of that glory so that they would not need be overwhelmed by his despair when they saw him suffer and die, and so that they would better understand when they saw him risen. St. Peter was one of those witnesses, and this experience transformed him profoundly, so that he was able later to see that Christ's own suffering was in order that our suffering might be transformed into hope. Thus he writes:

By his great mercy we have been born anew to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and to an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Without having seen him you love him; though you do not now see him you believe in him and rejoice with unutterable and exalted joy. As the outcome of your faith you obtain the salvation of your souls…Through him you have confidence in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God (1 Peter 1:3-9,21).

There is no doubt that suffering is often the greatest test of our faith, the cause of so many doubts. Yet when suffering is endured with faith, a faith that unites us to Christ, unites our sufferings to his, so that his resurrection may be ours, then like him we have confidence in our being transfigured in glory, and that God too will call us his beloved sons and daughters. Suffering is a reality we cannot escape – we need not seek it, for it finds us on its own by the very fact of our humanity. Such is life. Because of this fact, the inevitability of suffering, we are constantly presented with a choice. The question is, how will we respond?

Tonight at the Wendlers

Just got back from Mrs. Wendler's house. She certainly was not without company, or food. I brought her over a chicken casserole, and it turns out she has a friend bringing her an extra refrigerator and a few other friends storing food in their fridge for her. She won't have to cook for a year, I swear.

It was weird, obviously. She was just still in shock, and perhaps slightly sedated, also. She would just go through phases, where one minute she's telling this really funny story about Andy, and then the next minute she's sobbing. When I got there her other son Danny wasn't there, but I learned that he had been taking care of everything, all the arrangements and such, and that is very good. He showed up later on, and I spent some time with him, just watching the Phillies game while he and a buddy had a beer.

It's funny, I remember when Andy's dad died. We were in first grade, and I have no idea why but Mr. Wendler came into class to give some sort of presentation. On his way there he had hit a manhole cover that was raised above street level, and his chest went into the steering wheel. He didn't think much of it, but when he was giving the presentation he kept complaining that he wasn't feeling well. For some reason I remember so vividly this beautiful blue suit that he was wearing. Anyway, he finished up and then went home. He still wasn't feeling well, and so Mrs. Wendler made him go to the hospital. While he was there it was revealed that his aorta had torn, and it caused all sorts of problems. He ultimately died of heart failure as a result.

After Mr. Wendler died, Mrs. Wendler was an absolute wreck. I would be over Andy's house all the time, and she just wasn't with it for a while. A lot of times Andy would come sleep at my house, and Danny at his friend's house, because she just couldn't get it together. Mr. Wendler kept appearing to Mrs. Wendler in her dreams, and she would talk to him, and she would wake up and she could smell his cigarettes burning, and she would see a puff of smoke in the corner of the room, by the armoire where he kept his cigarettes. She would yell out, "Jim Wendler, if that's you you put that cigarette right out and come talk to me." And suddenly the smoke would disappear, the water would turn on in the bathroom as if he were washing his hands, and then the bed would depress as if someone else had gotten in with her. And she would talk to him, and he would tell her, "Mary, don't you worry, you'll be with me soon." And she really thought she was going to die, and she was actually looking forward to it because she wanted so badly to be with him again.

Well, as you can imagine, this was tearing the kids and her other family apart. After a few years, when Andy and I were in fifth or sixth grade, Andy finally said to her, "Mom, you have to stop. I've already lost dad and I can't lose you, too." And she snapped out of it. She never got over her husband's death, ever, but at least she became present to her family again.

Andy and Danny both went through some serious struggles in their teenage years. I mean, serious struggles. But recently they both began to get it together again. Andy moved back into the house to help out the mom with the bills (Danny was still there), because she is a Catholic school teacher and gets paid very little, and once the boys got older she stopped receiving social security for them.

Andy was a really, really great son. He loved his mom so much. He used to take her out dancing just to get her out of the house. He cared for her so dearly and tenderly. That's just how he was. When he wasn't with his mom, he was always spending time over at the convent, helping out the nuns. One of the nuns was at the house tonight, a nun who works with addicts and alcoholics and who really helped Andy get his life back in order, and had so many great stories about him. He would leave the house to go visit the nuns, usually to bring them some movies he thought they would like, and his mom would ask how long he'd be. He would say, "You never know, mom. I might just drop them off, but we might get talking, and if I'm enjoying myself, I'll probably stay a while." And usually he would enjoy himself, and sit and talk with the nuns for hours. During the days he frequently would go over and help them fix things around the house. When the nuns were moving out of the convent a few weeks ago, it was Andy who moved all their things for them.

Mrs. Wendler is a devout, devout Catholic. She has such a beautiful and profound faith. Her name is Mary, and towards the end of the night after everyone had left, Danny was in the other room and it was just Mrs. Wendler and I. I felt like I should leave, but she wanted to keep talking, so I stayed. We got around to talking about the Rosary, and I just said to her, "Mrs. Wendler, you keep praying the Rosary. You know, there was another Mary who lost her husband and whose son died very young, and that Mary loves you very much and will comfort and console you more than you can imagine." And she started to cry, of course, but she said she knew it, and she kept thinking about that sword of sorrow that pierced Blessed Mary's heart, and how she knew exactly what that sword felt like.

Well, anyway, that's pretty much the night. I won't be at the viewing tomorrow, but I'll be at the second viewing Friday morning, and then the requiem Mass Friday, as well, and then the cemetery. I hope she gets some sleep tonight.

Prayer

If you read this, please stop and say a quick prayer. In about an hour I'm heading over to Andy's mom's house to check on her, and as you can imagine I have absolutely no clue what I'm going to say. All I can think to do is bring a casserole, so I'm going to prepare that now, hop in the shower, and head over. My God.

The Persecution of Christians in Pakistan

Sandro Magister has written an excellent piece on the persecution of Christians in Pakistan:

ROME, August 5, 2009 – They threw stones, burned homes, and pursued  those fleeing, firing wildly. In the end, nine people were dead. Seven of them have the same last name, Hamid, and belong to the same family clan as Fr. Hussein Younis, a Franciscan. They include two children (in the photo by Saqib Khadim, the coffins). Their only fault is that they were Christian.

It took place in Pakistan, in Gojra, in the province of Faisalabad in eastern Punjab. There are 1.3 million Catholics in all of Pakistan, and the same number of Christians of other denominations, out of a population of 160 million, almost entirely Muslim. But the intolerance against this small, poor, peaceful minority has become a fact of life, exploding at times into bloody aggression.

The latest episode was sparked by an innocent marriage celebration among Christians in Koriyan, a little village near Gojra. It was July 30. Interviewed by Lorenzo Cremonesi for "Corriere della Sera" on August 3, Fr. Younis recounts:

"As is customary, at the end of the ceremony in the church the guests tossed flowers, rice, a few coins as tokens of prosperity, and slips of paper with greetings or prayers written on them. The problem is that some Muslims started to claim that the slips of paper were pages torn out of the Qur'an, an extremely serious offense for Islam and even more serious in these times of fanaticism. Very soon insults and accusations were flying, and then stones. A few homes were set on fire in the afternoon. But the more serious violence exploded on the morning of Saturday, August 1, in Gojra, around the Christian neighborhood.

"Our people counted eight buses full of extremists who had come from outside the area. Unfamiliar faces, people armed to the teeth. Their slogan was that we Christians have the same religion as the American soldiers, and therefore we are enemies, we deserve death. First they threw stones, then they sprayed gasoline, and finally came machine gun fire and bombs. Here around me everything is burned, charred. The death toll could have been much worse if the Christians had not fled immediately. My relatives were not fast enough, and they were burned alive, trapped in the flames."

Continue reading here

The Gift of Communion

In conjunction with the present series on the nascent Church, following is Pope Benedict XVI's catechetical instruction from March 29, 2006, entitled The Gift of Communion:

The gift of "communion'

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Through her apostolic ministry the Church, a community gathered by the Son of God who came in the flesh, will live on through the passing times, building up and nourishing the communion in Christ and in the Holy Spirit to which all are called and in which they can experience the salvation given by the Father.

The Twelve - as Pope Clement, the third Successor of Peter, said at the end of the first century - took pains, in fact, to prepare successors (cf. I Clem 42: 4), so that the mission entrusted to them would be continued after their death. The Church, organically structured under the guidance of her legitimate Pastors, has thus continued down the ages to live in the world as a mystery of communion in which, to a certain extent, the Trinitarian Communion itself is mirrored.

The Apostle Paul was already referring to this supreme Trinitarian source when he wished his Christians:  "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all" (II Cor 13: 14). 

These words, probably echoed in the worship of the newborn Church, emphasize how the free gift of the Father in Jesus Christ is realized and expressed in the communion brought about by the Holy Spirit.

This interpretation, based on the close parallelism between the three genitives that the text establishes:  ("the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ... the love of God... and the fellowship of theHoly Spirit), presents "fellowship" as a specific gift of the Spirit, the fruit of the love given by God the Father and the grace offered by the Lord Jesus.

Moreover, the immediate context, marked by the insistence on fraternal communion, guides us to perceiving the "koinonía" of the Holy Spirit not only as "participation" in the divine life more or less singularly, each one individually, but also, logically, as the "communion" among believers that the Spirit himself kindles as his builder and principal agent (cf. Phil 2: 1).

One might say that grace, love and communion, referring respectively to Christ, to the Father and to the Holy Spirit, are different aspects of the one divine action for our salvation. This action creates the Church and makes the Church - as St Cyprian said in the third century - "a people brought into unity from the unity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit" (De Orat. Dom. 23; PL 4, 553, cit. in Lumen Gentium, n. 4). 

The idea of communion as participation in Trinitarian life is illuminated with special intensity in John's Gospel.

Here, the communion of love that binds the Son to the Father and to men and women is at the same time the model and source of the fraternal communion that must unite disciples with one another:  "Love one another as I have loved you" (Jn 15: 12; cf. 13: 34); "that they may all be one... even aswe are one" (Jn 17: 21-22). Hence, it is communion of men and women with the Trinitarian God and communion of men and women with one another.

During the time of his earthly pilgrimage, the disciple can already share through communion with the Son in his divine life and that of the Father:  "our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ" (I Jn 1: 3).

This life of fellowship with God and with one another is the proper goal of Gospel proclamation, the goal of conversion to Christianity:  "That which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you may have fellowship with us" (I Jn 1: 2).

Thus, this twofold communion with God and with one another is inseparable. Wherever communion with God, which is communion with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, is destroyed, the root and source of our communion with one another is destroyed. And wherever we do not live communion among ourselves, communion with the Trinitarian God is not alive and true either, as we have heard.

Let us now go a step further. Communion, a fruit of the Holy Spirit, is nourished by the Eucharistic Bread (cf. I Cor 10: 16-17) and is expressed in fraternal relations in a sort of anticipation of the future world.

In the Eucharist, Jesus nourishes us, he unites us with himself, with his Father, with the Holy Spirit and with one another. This network of unity that embraces the world is an anticipation of the future world in our time.

Precisely in this way, since it is an anticipation of the future world, communion is also a gift with very real consequences. It lifts us from our loneliness, from being closed in on ourselves, and makes us sharers in the love that unites us to God and to one another.

It is easy to understand how great this gift is if we only think of the fragmentation and conflicts that afflict relations between individuals, groups and entire peoples. And if the gift of unity in the Holy Spirit does not exist, the fragmentation of humanity is inevitable.

"Communion" is truly the Good News, the remedy given to us by the Lord to fight the loneliness that threatens everyone today, the precious gift that makes us feel welcomed and beloved by God, in the unity of his People gathered in the name of the Trinity; it is the light that makes the Church shine forth like a beacon raised among the peoples.

"If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not live according to the truth; but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another" (I Jn 1: 6ff.).

Thus, the Church, despite all the human frailties that mark her historical profile, is revealed as a marvellous creation of love, brought into being to bring Christ close to every man and every woman who truly desire to meet him, until the end of time. And in the Church, the Lord always remains our contemporary. Scripture is not something of the past. The Lord does not speak in the past but speaks in the present, he speaks to us today, he enlightens us, he shows us the way through life, he gives us communion and thus he prepares us and opens us to peace. 

A Prayer Request

Tragic news tonight. Andy Wendler, friend of over 25 years was found dead this evening. I don't have any details. Please pray for his soul, and please, please pray for his family. I cannot fathom how his mother will take this. When we were in first grade Andy's father was killed in a freak car accident, and his mother was destroyed from it, and it took her years to recover. She finally got to a place where she was truly happy again, and now her older son is dead. I just don't know how she will take it, nor his brother Danny. How much pain can the soul ever truly endure? Please, pray for Andy's soul, for his mother Mary and his brother Danny, and all who grieve his loss.

Also, if any priests happen to read this blog, please remember him at Mass. Thank you.

Apostolic Succession and the Eucharist in the Nascent Church

In these next two installments in the present examination of the nascent Church I am going to look at two related topics: apostolic succession and the liturgy of the early Christians, a liturgy that focused on the celebration of the Eucharist. In this first post I will look at apostolic succession and how it relates to the doctrine of the Eucharist. In the next post I will present some insight into the liturgical practice of the early Church. Along with Scripture, the texts that I will be referencing especially are the Epistles of Ignatius of Antioch, the First Epistle of Clement of Rome to the Corinthians, The Apostolic Tradition by Hippolytus of Rome. Each of these were introduced in the initial post of this series. In addition to these, in my next post examining the early Christian liturgy I will also reference The Didache, a first century pedagogical work containing the teaching of the Apostles, a work that was considered by many Church Fathers to be part of the New Testament, and while it was ultimately rejected as canonical it is nonetheless an invaluable patristic document. I will also reference an excellent book written by en erudite patristic scholar, Mike Aquinila, The Mass of the Early Christians, a book I strongly recommend to anyone interested in the subject.

In the previous post in this series we examined the issue of authority and apostolic teaching, and the necessity of teaching sound doctrine. We saw in the writings of St. Paul the exhortation to maintain sound doctrine and that in order to ensure orthodoxy bishops, presbyters and deacons were appointed. We also saw that the Christians of the first century were exhorted to submit to their bishops and presbyters, and that the Christian faithful owed obedience to the presbyters and bishops, and the connection was made from presbyter to bishop, bishop to apostles, apostles to Christ, and Christ to God. Regarding apostolic succession let us first look at an excerpt from the 44^th Chapter of Clement of Rome's Epistle to the Corinthians (emphasis mine):

Our apostles also knew, through our Lord Jesus Christ, that there would be strife on account of the office of the episcopate. For this reason, therefore, inasmuch as they had obtained a perfect foreknowledge of this, they appointed those [ministers] already mentioned, and afterwards gave instructions, that when these should fall asleep, other approved men should succeed them in their ministry.

We see in the Acts of the Apostles the beginning of the practice of apostolic succession, when Matthias was chosen to succeed Judas. As the apostles and other disciples are gathered in Jerusalem, Peter stands up and first refers to the Old Testament prophecy that Judas must be succeeded by another in his office of Apostle, and then Peter proclaims: "So one of the men who have accompanied us during all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, beginning from the baptism of John until the day when he was taken up from us -- one of these men must become with us a witness to his resurrection" (Acts 1:21-22). This practice of appointing successors in the offices that would come to be known as bishop, presbyter and deacon is found once again in St. Paul, when he tells Titus to appoint presbyters and bishops to ensure sound doctrine. Just as Titus was commissioned directly by Paul, now Titus is commissioning his own successors. And so we see above in Clement's Epistle that the succession from the apostles was indeed a charge handed down directly by them.

Clement again stresses to the Corinthians that as Christians they are to submit themselves to the authority of the presbyter. In Chapter 47 he writes regarding the disobedience to the presbyters that resulted from false accusations made against them:

It is disgraceful, beloved, yea, highly disgraceful, and unworthy of your Christian profession, that such a thing should be heard of as that the most steadfast and ancient church of the Corinthians should, on account of one or two persons, engage in sedition against its presbyters.

And again in Chapter 57:

You therefore, who laid the foundation of this sedition, submit yourselves to the presbyters, and receive correction so as to repent, bending the knees of your hearts. Learn to be subject, laying aside the proud and arrogant self-confidence of your tongue.

As has been shown, the primary purpose of obedience to the bishops and presbyters was for the purpose of ensuring fidelity to sound doctrine, a task that throughout Scripture, from Christ to the Apostles, is set forth as of prime importance. We see in the nascent Church that one of the most important doctrines that was challenged in a way that led to one of the first two or three Christian heresies regards the Eucharist, particularly the reality that Christ's Body and Blood are truly present in the Eucharist, when that Eucharist is presided over by a successor of the Apostles.

The first insight into the early celebration of the Eucharist is given to us by St. Paul in 1 Corinthians. Beginning in Chapter 10 Paul refers to the bread and the cup as being participations in the sacrifice of the Cross:

The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread (1 Cor 10:16-17).

He then says that what he received from the Lord (whether through the apostles who were present or directly from Christ in some other fashion) he passes on to the Church at Corinth, indicating that this celebration of the Eucharist is to be carried out in like manner. Paul writes:

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes (1 Cor 11:23-26).

Here Paul connects the Eucharist directly to the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross, as he did in the previous chapter. It is because of the fact that the Eucharist is eternally connected to the Cross that the celebration of the Eucharist is rightly called a sacrifice, and thus is presented at an altar.

In Ignatius of Antioch we see again the importance of apostolic succession with regards the celebration of the Eucharist, and that it is only validly celebrated by one with such a succession. In chapter 8 of his Epistle to the Smyrnaeans he writes:

See that you all follow the bishop, even as Jesus Christ does the Father, and the presbytery as you would the apostles; and reverence the deacons, as being the institution of God. Let no man do anything connected with the Church without the bishop. Let that be deemed a proper Eucharist, which is [administered] either by the bishop, or by one to whom he has entrusted it. Wherever the bishop shall appear, there let the multitude [of the people] also be; even as, wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church. It is not lawful without the bishop either to baptize or to celebrate an agape (the Eucharistic meal); but whatsoever he shall approve of, that is also pleasing to God, so that everything that is done may be secure and valid.

As I said, one of the primary reasons for subordination to the bishop and presbyter was to ensure orthodox doctrine concerning the Eucharist. It is important to note that Ignatius was a disciple of John the Apostle, and it was John who included the famous bread of life discourse in his Gospel. Let's look first at John, and then at how his disciple Ignatius interprets the Eucharist. From John:

Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves.

"I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh." The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever" (John 6:51-58).

It is true that some dispute whether this passage refers to the Eucharist itself, but several factors are worth considering. One, unlike the synoptic Gospels, John does not include an account of the Last Supper aside from the washing of the feet. At the time of the writing of John's Gospel, as we will see presently from John's disciple Ignatius, we saw the first denial that the Eucharist was the true Body and Blood of Christ, and so it is likely that instead of recording an accounting of the Last Supper as the synoptics did, John chose to focus on the doctrinal aspect, and thus included the bread of life discourse with its explicit reference to the necessity of eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Christ. The epistles from Ignatius were more or less contemporaneous to the writing of John's Gospel, perhaps a decade, at most two, later. And in his epistle to the Smyrnaeans he writes:

But consider those who are of a different opinion with respect to the grace of Christ which has come unto us, how opposed they are to the will of God. They have no regard for love; no care for the widow, or the orphan, or the oppressed; of the bond, or of the free; of the hungry, or of the thirsty. They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer, because they confess not the Eucharist to be the flesh of our Saviour Jesus Christ, which suffered for our sins, and which the Father, of His goodness, raised up again. Those, therefore, who speak against this gift of God, incur death in the midst of their disputes. But it were better for them to treat it with respect, that they also might rise again.

Here Ignatius makes it abundantly clear that the flesh of Christ referred to in John's Gospel is truly present in the Eucharist, and he denounces those who deny this essential doctrine. Like John, Ignatius teaches that the eating of the flesh of Christ, and this achieved in the Eucharist, is essential to eternal life.

This brings us to one final point to examine regarding an orthodox understanding of the Eucharist. The Eucharist contains within it a profoundly eschatological character. The Eucharist is the force in the world drawing all of creation towards its final redemption, towards resurrection. This is so because the Body of Christ present in the Eucharist is not the mortal flesh assumed by Christ in the incarnation, but rather it is the resurrected Body of Christ that we receive in the Eucharist. It is specifically because of its resurrected nature that it is even possible for Christ to be truly present in every single host and every cup of wine that is transformed into the true Body and Blood of Christ. It is because of the resurrected nature of Christ that this transformation of bread and wine into Body and Blood is possible, and why the consumption of the Body and Blood of Christ is not a form of cannibalism, a charge that was commonly made against the Christians in the early Church. In the Eucharist, yes we participate in the sacrifice of the Cross and are conformed unto Christ crucified, but in the Eucharist we also participate in the resurrection of Christ, and indeed are drawn towards our own resurrection, as well.

This will conclude an examination of the doctrinal components of the Eucharist as explicated through the writings of the nascent Church. In the next installment I will examine in some detail the liturgical form of the Mass of the early Christians.

I am a bad human being

MyJewishLearning is having a contest for the worst poem ever. From the site:

August 18 is Bad Poetry Day! As Jews, this event is of the utmost importance, since Judaism has been responsible for some of the best poetry in the world. The Book of Psalms. The Song of Songs. Barry Manilow. No matter what the emotion, no matter the occasion, some poet has probably captured the sentiment perfectly in verse form--and, as likely as not, that poet might be Jewish.

MyJewishLearning is determined to fight this disturbing trend. What could be better than bad poetry? Whether it starts with "Horseradish is red/The Red Sea is blue" or rhymes the words "you," "Jew," and "snuggle-poo," it'll probably make a hit in our Bad Poetry Day contest.

So I decided to submit an entry, and wrote as bad of a poem as I could think of that at least still rhymed. The end result is that I am a bad human being:

 

I once knew a girl

Who had a pet squirrel

But the story I tell

Might send me to hell

And also make you hurl

 

This girl and her pet

Came home from the vet

And I'm happy to say

The squirrel came home that day

With no diseases, I bet

 

Is squirrel tasty to you?

It is to me, too

So the squirrel is now dead

And I am well fed

For it made a good stew

The Nature of Freedom

When you choose an elder, you renounce your own will and yield it to him in complete submission, complete self-abnegation. This novitiate, this terrible school of abnegation, is undertaken voluntarily, in the hope of self-conquest, of self-mastery, in order, after a life of obedience, to attain perfect freedom, that is, from self; to escape the lot of those who have lived their whole life without finding their true selves in themselves.

--The Brothers Karamazov, Book I, Ch. 5 (translated by Constance Garnett)

In the modern world this concept of freedom seems a total contradiction. How can perfect obedience be a means of freedom? I think this question forces us to examine the nature of freedom itself.

The concept of freedom that Dostoevsky is working with here is deeply rooted in the Christian tradition, though certainly not exclusive to it. It is equally found in Plato, in Lucretius, in Cicero, in Buddhism, though in each of these traditions it takes a slightly different philosophical manifestation. But the common thread uniting these in the concept of freedom is that there is something about our material self that develops a certain enslavement to passions, to baser emotions and desires, and this slavery takes the form of vicious habits. Alyosha here, who is preparing to freely submit himself to the elder Zosima, is juxtaposed particularly against his father, Fyodor (though also in some ways against his brother Ivan and against Miusov). Fyodor is a man driven entirely by base passions, a licentious drunkard who gives no thought whatever to honesty, fairness, justice, and so forth.

The question of freedom raised here then is not of a political nature, but rather of an interior one. What is interior freedom? How does one reach a point where the flesh is guided by the spirit, not the spirit enslaved to the flesh? The obedience of religious life seems one possible way to achieve this, but obviously it is not for everyone. How else does one experience the sort of interior freedom described here?